Welcome Sue Swift and her alter ego, Suz deMello, this fine Wednesday! In the spirit of “The Merry Month of May I Suck Your ___” (insert word of choice ), Sue shares some bits from her HIGHLAND VAMPIRE story to illustrate her…point…while she discusses the significance of strong dialog in fiction.

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A Few Words About Dialog

by

Sue Swift

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I’ve been writing fiction since 1996 and have been editing and critiquing for just as long. Both activities, along with a few classes I’ve taken, have taught me quite a bit about writing. I’m happy to share that information with the hope that the manuscripts that arrive in my Inbox will be tighter and better.

In fiction, dialog is a crucial component…possibly the most crucial component of your story. But it can’t be understood without study. Many writers think that simply by listening to people talk they can transcribe everything they hear into a manuscript without editing. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Many of my conversations run something like this:

“Hiya!”

“Hey, hi, Sue. How’re ya doin’?”

“I’m okay. You?”

“Fine. Whassap?”

“Not much. Tryin’ to stay dry.”

The only variations are seasonal. In January, I’m trying to stay dry. In July, I’m trying to stay cool.

The conversation doesn’t say much and I’d never put it in a book, unless I wanted to lull the reader into an unsuspecting stupor before a demon struck or a meteor slammed into our planet.

So the vast majority of realistic interactions don’t belong in a book. Interactions should have a purpose; in fact, every word in your book should have a purpose.

What purposes can we define?

•             Advance plot

•             Develop character

•             Complicate or resolve conflict

•             Express setting, mood, theme.

Ideally, a line of dialog and its tag can fulfill more than one purpose. Here’s an example from HIGHLAND VAMPIRE, a Spice Brief by my alter ego, Suz deMello, published in November 2010:

We were awakened by screams splitting the early morning, followed by pounding on the gatehouse door.

“Mister Garrett! It’s happened again!”

Garrett rolled over, smiled at me and said, “See?”

I blinked, trying to understand. “What?”

“Get up, sweetheart, the fun is just beginning.”  He was already out of bed, pulling on jeans and a moss green sweater that looked especially good with his eyes.

I followed suit, adding a denim jacket against the misty morning. “Do you know what’s going on?”

He grinned. “It’s the vampire. He’s struck again.”

Quite a bit happens during this snippet of dialog. Our hero and heroine awaken to a situation they must handle, so they dress with haste. There’s a vampire whose intervention isn’t entirely unwelcome. The story is advanced while conflict is indicated.

Their relationship appears to be a positive one. The heroine is confused, noticing her boyfriend’s sweater and eyes even though there’s a crisis to be managed. This is a character note. Here’s another character note: The hero, who’s addressed as “Mister,” is expected to deal with the vampire. So he’s a leader, someone who’s respected.  However, he seems pleased that the vampire has struck again. Again, the plot is advanced, conflict is implied while emotion is communicated. Setting details—a gatehouse on a misty morning—are mentioned.

Everything in your manuscript—every line of dialog, every description, every word and even every comma—has to have a reason for being there. Writing well isn’t vomiting every stray thought you’ve ever had onto the page.  Good authors spend more time cutting than they do writing.

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Natasha Desmond is a woman on the run. But the castle in which she seeks refuge may harbor a greater menace. She hopes she’s found a new love, but does Garrett Kilburn serve the castle’s ancient terror?

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ABOUT SUE

Best-selling, award-winning author Sue Swift, a.k.a Suz deMello, has written over fifteen novels, plus several short stories and non-fiction articles. She writes in numerous genres including romance, mystery, paranormal, historical, contemporary comedy and erotica. She also edits as Thalia Child, and is currently senior editor at Etopia Press. She also takes on private clients.

Her books have been favorably reviewed in PW, Kirkus and Booklist, attained the finals of the RITA and reached the top ten on a bestseller list.

A former trial attorney, she resides in northern California. Her passion is world travel, and she’s left the US over a dozen times, including stints working overseas for months at a time. Right now, she’s working on her next manuscript and planning her next trip.

Look for all of Sue’s latest news on her blog. Find her reading picks at ReadThis4fun on Twitter, and befriend her on Facebook.

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Thanks for the great tips, Sue — and for sharing Garrett here during this “Merry Month of May I Suck Your ___.” Hey, Garrett Kilburn: yes, you may!

Maria-Claire